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[personal profile] little_aphid
Wat.













In other news, I fucking HATE Stephen Moffat. Season five is going to be hell. Oh god I hate life. I hate it. I ACTUALLY CHUGGED MY ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE NEAR THE END, WHEN RIVER
KILLED HERSELF, AND THEN I WAS DISAPPOINTED THAT I HAD NONE LEFT WHEN HE

SNAPPED HIS FUCKING FINGERS AND THE DOORS OPENED.

Also, don't you know that all women need to be happy is fake computer babies? Thanks for that Moffat, I think I'll go make some now. I own The Sims, after all.

Ok, I will note that there was one (count it, one) good thing about this episode:

SEXY SEXY HANDCUFFED DOCTOR. OMG TAKE AWAY THE CONTEXT AND I WAS VERY HAPPY. NOT THAT YOU CAN TAKE AWAY THE CONTEXT, SO I WASN'T VERY HAPPY.

Ok, I'm done with capslock.

But I am, however, not done with alcohol. *chugs more*

ETA: OMG I just realized: the reason River apparently doesn't live on the TARDIS, and only knows the Doctor because he comes to visit her sometimes, is because, in the future, after all the crazy personality changes and stuff, the Doctor is a pimp! He obviously has hundreds of girlfriends, and using his crazy time travel device, he travels about, visiting one or another whenever he's in the mood. It's obvious!

Also, now I'm kinda wondering: she apparently doesn't really like the "younger" version of the Doctor. Putting aside the question of how much one regeneration can change over time, considering he's already 900 (???) years old, she apparently prefers the "cooler" version.
The calmer, less emotional, more bad-ass version who "swaggers back to his TARDIS." Um... my theory?

Obviously there was some crazy traumatic event, even more mind-fucking than the Time War (my theory leans towards the words Master+sex+slave+decades, because it's my theory so it can be anything I want, your mileage may vary. Could be any kind of torture, really. Or more genocide, or dead companions, etc.), after which the Doctor realized that the only way to psychologically recover is to sort of become someone else. Like a fugue. So he completely bottles up his suffering self, and becomes a new, bad-ass, cool, uncaring, unemotional guy who River falls in love with.

Yes, I realize that I made this all up just now to make myself feel better. IT'S WORKING, OK?

No, but to be serious: it is totally creepy the differences that River mentions, when she talks about how he changes when he gets older, and it's never addressed! It's like Moffat decides that in the future the Doctor will have gotten over the Time War and taken an A-level in badassery, and that's why River likes him. I don't quite know how to say it, because I'm a little bit drunk right now, but the idea kind of disturbs me, the sense that she thinks the Doctor is too... emotional for her right now. And if she really knew everything about him, she'd know that he's, you know, slightly emotionally fucked-up because of the TIME WAR. And GENOCIDE. And ROSE, AND THE MASTER, and the entirety of the emo New Who. Which is some pretty heavy baggage, so you'd think she'd be a bit more understanding.

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little_aphid

May 2009

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